News that jumbles the red "head"

The red "head" is jumbled tonight. There's a very real possibility that Scott's deployment will either be delayed or won't happen at all. (He should know more by the end of the week.)

The mom in me has mixed feelings. I'm happy that it might not happen, of course, because that means he won't be going to a war zone. As Scott says, though, it would have been good financially for him to go, he could have saved up the extra pay he would receive for being deployed. So I'm bummed for him in that respect.

But where this has consequences for me is in my trip planning. I long ago made peace with the idea that I would NOT get to go to Germany and see him while on this trip. So therefore my Paris plans have been made, tweaked over and over, and are somewhat perfected at this point. I'm very much looking forward to having six days alone in Paris, in addition to the 2 1/2 days with my sisters. Now I might be able to go to Germany after all.

I feel some major Mom guilt because I'm not as excited about that as I should be. Paris is so far into my head that it'll be hard to let go of some of it. I'm telling myself, too, that I still will have SOME time in Paris. Just not as much as I've been planning on. And come on, I haven't seen my son for a year now. I love him and miss not seeing him.

What to do? Obviously go to Germany if I'm able. Nothing is for sure yet. The deployment could just be delayed, not cancelled. But I'm thinking about spending at least the weekend in Paris, then going to Germany on Monday or even Tuesday. A little less time with Scott, but who wants their mother hanging around for a whole week when they're a 23 year old single guy? Or maybe he'd like to come to Paris instead. I don't know. We'll wait and see how the outcome of the deployment plans turn out.

I'm still going to make my reservations this week at MIJE (hopefully anyway.) You don't have to give a credit card to reserve a spot, so I'm assuming that cancelling all or part of the stay wouldn't be a problem or cost me any penalty.