The highest of highs and the depths of the seas...

This has truly been a week of the "highest of highs and the depths of the seas" - all at the same time. At times my emotions were so mixed up that my stomach was physically tied up in knots (at least that's how it felt.)



There is the excitement of knowing you will be receiving Scouting's highest volunteer award at the council level, the Silver Beaver. When cool things are gonna happen, I have trouble enough sleeping. just the excitement factor I guess.



But on the other hand it was a hard emotional week. It began last Friday when a simple conversation led to a tough episode of being verbally abused by my husband. I've not often called such times by that name, but the reality is that is what it was. I am not a good housekeeper (ok, I will concede that one), I don't take care of myself physically (ok, I could stand to lose some weight) but also I am a college graduate who "wastes her time and talents wiping babies butts." My interests are all time wasters INCLUDING SCOUTING and my time could and should be better spent staying home taking care of the house. That was just the tip of things. He has no respect for me or anything about me, and nothing I do is ever good enough.



I did tell him we either needed to fix our marriage or dissolve it. I want to fix it and told him so. That was about the end of the conversation at that time. From Friday until Wednesday, communication was kept to an absolute minimum, only as necessary. Tough to go through but I didn't want to open myself up to being hurt any further.



On Monday morning, I made an appointment with a Christian counselor to help me sort out all of these issues. I know that my faith combined with his lack of faith and total disrespect for church is part of the situation. So feel like a faith-based counselor can help me figure out things from my end.



Steve, meanwhile, called our doctor and got a recommendation for a counselor as well. He emailed me to ask when I was free, that's the last I heard about it for a few days.



In the midst of this, Tuesday night was our District Awards dinner. I had the pleasure of witnessing many of my scouting friends being honored for their service. I also received my Arrowhead Honor and Commissioner's Key, both for serving as Cub Scout Roundtable Commissioner. It was a good night and a sweet respite from my troubles at home.



The next day, with the council awards dinner only a day away, I sent an email to Steve telling him that we needed to leave at 5:30 if he was still wanting to go with me.



That night, we finally talked (some anyway.) He asked if I wanted him to go with me. Most of me did (though there is still a part of me guarding my heart) and I told him so. I then got as much of an apology as I expect I'll get - he loves me but I exasperate him at times. That doesn't mean the things he said to me are ok and I told him that. He also told me he had made an appointment for June 1 - and that the doctor wanted to see him alone first as they needed a diagnosis for insurance to pay and they're going to use his depression. He had been diagnosed with depression months ago but refused to see anyone. He was disappointed that the appointment wasn't earlier as he hoped "to get this all taken care of before we go on vacation." Which is supposed to be June 11th. Hmmm...not the best of signs there either.



Ok, last night. He came home, sort of subdued. Did find out that there had been a cancellation so he'd seen the counselor that afternoon. He didn't go into detail about the appointment, but wants me to go with him to the next 3 that are set up. At this point I will go to the first one, probably the others as well, but I still am thinking I need to have my own separate counselor as well. Continuing to pray for guidance in this part of the matter, as well as the entire matter of course.



We left for the Council awards event (Eric as well) and arrived only to find they didn't have a nametag for Steve. Not sure what happened there but everything was ok. We took a tour of the radio/tv studios there (at the Eberhart Center, part of GVSU's downtown campus) then had a bunch of fancy hors d'oeuvres, that apparently was "dinner." Got to visit with many fellow scouters during this time.

Then into the event itself. Sat at a table with Steve and Eric along with Dirk from our troop, and Bob and Martin, two scouting friends. I would consider Bob to be one of my mentors in scouting - he was my troop guide when I took Wood Badge and we've done many scouting things together since then.

There were quite a few awards given out to districts and to council officers, and a report from the council president on the highlights of his four years in office. Finally, it was time for the Silver Beaver presentations. I was second of six to receive the award. When the first recipient was called up with his spouse, I quickly realized Eric would have to be the cameraman, not Steve. Unfortunately, Steve had the camera set on no-flash so Eric's pix weren't as high quality. Oh well.

They started talking about my accomplishments, then Lee, who had been the scoutmaster when I served on her Wood Badge staff in 2007, escorted me and Steve up to the front. They then played the video that I'd taped a week ago, talking about why I was in Scouting. Guess I sounded ok on it. Wanted to make the point (in the video) that Scouting had given much to me and to my boys, and I was in it now to give back to others what had been given to us. And it keeps on giving in many ways, not just this award.

Anyway, the council president (who is a federal court judge in GR) gave me the actual award, and Steve was given an Eagle Scout coin (guess they didn't think he'd want flowers like the other spouses...) and the presentations continued. Our "Silver Beaver Class" consists of six scouters from the council: a retired carpenter, a neurosurgeon, a lawyer, an accountant with the IRS, and another health care professional. Guess this child care worker was in some pretty high company! But we're all Scouters and that's what counts. I was the only female scouter honored in the group.

I also received (though I didn't realize it until I was home) a special Silver Beaver pin commemorating that I was a recipient during the 100th anniversary year. That was pretty neat.

After the six presentations, our council executive, Mike, gave an inspirational speech. He is an awesome public speaker, I never get tired of hearing him speak. Then the event was complete, other than a dessert reception and lots and lots of congratulations from my scouting peers.

So the highest of highs and the depths of the sea, all in the same week. Hoping to bring the depths of the sea up to sea level at least, and even higher. It will take time and work.

Max's Musings: What the heck is this wet stuff?

I'm not too crazy about baths. So what's up with this wet stuff falling out of the sky? It really puts a crimp on my outdoor "duties." Mom still expects me to go outside and do that stuff even though I'm getting wet. Buy me a raincoat already, will ya?

Note from Mom: He really looks like a drowned rat after being out in our rainstorm this morning. Maybe I really should buy him a raincoat, eh?

This was just a short post as I'm at the library updating my GSAK files. I'd wanted to go caching today, haven't had a chance since the 10 years events the first weekend of the month, but it is just raining too hard to give it a go. Maybe tomorrow.

Frustration today (and yesterday, and times before then...) as Steve does not apparently think having Max in his box for 11 hours straight is any big deal. I'm temporarily working 9 am - 9 p.m. on Mondays so have asked Steve to come straight home from work and take care of him. Not such a big deal, one would think. I also asked him to come straight home last night as I had to go up to the council offices to be videotaped for Silver Beaver. He didn't come home until 7:30 p.m., which meant Max was in his box for 11 hours. That's way too long. Max can stand up and move around, but still... And when I told him how I felt about that, he tried to flip it around, saying that Max was fine, and that he had to do his errands and take care of his dad.

Max is not like his motorcycles. He can't leave him in the garage and take him out to play just when he feels like it. Max is a living creature, and Steve has assumed a whole lot in this whole process. I take care of Max probably 80% of the time, and I'm not the one who decided to get him. I love the little fella dearly now, but whose dog is he supposed to be?

There. Frustration released, to a point. It does me no good to tell Steve in person because he'll always manage to flip things around so it sounds like I'M the one who is the guilty party, even though I'm just calmly telling him how I feel.

I wish things were better. I wish I had a husband instead of just a cranky roommate.

The Outdoor Adventure Show

Last week, my focus was on preparing for the Boy Scout Outdoor Adventure Show that our council was holding to honor the 100th anniversary of scouting. As chair of the council's Get in the Game - Geocaching committee, I was also in charge of getting a booth together highlighting those two activities.

I prepared two display boards for the booth - one displayed geocaching information in general and the other highlighted our Get in the Game caches, travelers, and other activities. We also had many examples of geocaching containers both large and small and every size in between, and lots of examples of swag (that's the stuff you find in geocaches) and trackables. We also gave away four of our special GITG geocoins, only available as prizes through GITG.

All this had to come down to DeVos Place on Friday. But I couldn't set any of it up on Friday since our exhibit hall (C) was being used Friday night. We had to store everything in the B hall that was available for use. The weather on Friday was rainy and pretty nasty overall. Thankfully, I had come downtown and hidden the temporary geocache the day before.

The big complication for our scout show was the River Bank Run. This is a 25K race held annually on the 2nd Saturday morning in May. Yep, the same day as the scout show. That tied up streets and made parking pretty miserable if you didn't get there early. The council was providing shuttle service from the council offices but it would have been a much bigger hassle for me after the show to get everything. Would have had to take the shuttle up to get my car, then go back to DeVos Place, get my stuff, and load it into the car before I could head for home.

So my decision for Saturday was to get up SUPER early and try to get a spot in the parking garage under DeVos Place. I arrived there at 5:10 a.m. and got a really good spot. Glad I did as it started to fill up fast not long after. The only problem with 5:10 a.m. was that none of the pipe and draping was set up yet, so I couldn't set up my booth yet. I got to help with pipe and draping for a while, then finally got to start setting up the booth. Did just that, and had a chance to wander a bit to see some of the other parts of the show being set up.

There were opportunities for scuba diving, mechanical bull riding, rope making, pinewood derby car making, crossing a monkey bridge, archery, and a host of other fun scouting related activities. Also being set up was the new world's longest Pinewood Derby track. I mentioned on Facebook how long the track was and was e-mailed by another scouter that they were trying to keep it a secret because another council out west was going to try to break the record later this year. Sheesh!

Got hungry about 9:30ish (who feels like eating breakfast at 4:30 a.m.?) but no concessions were open. So walked to the Amway Grand Plaza next door and bought some breakfast and lunch. 10 minutes after I came back, the concession stands opened (about 10 feet away from my booth.) Figures. And Eric didn't work there so I couldn't snag any free food.

My committee started arriving about 11 a.m., and the show opened at noon. I would call it a success - much more than I expected it to be. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, and we were able to introduce geocaching to quite a few people. We had borrowed five GPS receivers from the Michigan Geocaching Organization (MiGO) and, along with our personal GPSrs, took quite a few people to find the temporary cache I'd hidden previously. Since one of the people on my committee is a volunteer reviewer for Michigan, he told me he thought it would be a decent permanent hide. So it is - just got approved this afternoon.

I didn't get to see much more of the show while it was taking place, nor did I get to see the Adventure Base 100 that was across the river at the Ford Museum. I did get to go race my Pinewood Derby car down the track. This was the only one I'd ever made myself - for a Roundtable race years ago. Not much to look at, but it came in second back then. And made it down the track in one piece, too. The track started from the second story balcony in the DeVos Place lobby and made it almost all the way down the length of the lobby. Unfortunately, I lent the car to a young scout whose dad was helping in the geocaching booth so he could try the track out and it crashed. Webelos Woody lost his head & windshield, which were found, and his hat, which was not. Oh well, just a car.

The show ended at 8 p.m., and after a quick tear down I was able to load my cart and head down to my car and home. A lot easier than the shuttle! I came home absolutely exhausted and was in bed before 10 p.m. But it was a great day to experience scouting in West Michigan.

The Max Report - Caching in Lansing

Hi, Max here. I'm almost eight months old (tomorrow) and to celebrate, Mom took me caching. She says she's celebrating 10 years of geocaching but I just know its really because of my 8 months birthday.

Anyway, we took off yesterday morning and went to a place called Lansing. Mom said I was a bit naughty along the way because I got out of my car box while she was driving. I had to sit down in the middle between the two front seats for a while until Mom found a safe place to stop and put me back in. She closed the zipper all the way after that for a while so I couldn't see out. She hopes I learned my lesson!

We found 33 of those things called caches. Sometimes Mom made me stay in the car because the cache was right by where she parked. But sometimes she took me with her. I got lots of walk time! The best walk was on this path where there were lots of interesting things to sniff out, and I saw frogs and snakes and ducks. I wanted to go swimming in the creek but Mom said I'd get too smelly. She told me that "this" (as in the nice walk along a nice path) is what caching is all about.

We ended up at the end of the day not at home, but at a place called a Red Roof Inn. Mom says they like having dogs there. When we got there, she pulled my big box from home out of the back of the car! I wondered why she took it from the living room. Now I know. Anyway, she put it in the bathroom at the hotel, and put out my food and water. I was pretty tired so just laid around most of the evening. But once Mom wanted to go to bed, that's when I decided it was play time. Mom was going to let me try sleeping outside of my box, but after a while of my playtime she decided it was the box after all.

Maybe because my box was closer to where Mom was sleeping, but she heard me whine a lot quicker than she does at home. She took me outside about 5 a.m. but I wasn't happy and she really didn't get back to sleep too much after that.

She says we have a busy day today. We get to go to something called a 10 Years! event. Well she gets to go anyway. I probably can't go in so will have to wait in the car. She promises she won't stay inside very long though. Then we get to drive back home. 'Nuff said. Now that I'm out of the box, I'm happily being lazy at Mom's feet, just like usual.